Why do scribes delay to marry?

By Ebenezer T. Bifubyeka (As of Sept.7th 2005).

“ALTHOUGH he is an expert on many things, one field that has eluded him is family. That perhaps explains why, at 33, he is yet to marry. Strange but true,” Joshua Kato wrote about the Daily Monitor’s political editor, Andrew Mwenda in The New Vision of August 16, 2005, page 29.

Leave alone Mwenda. Most journalists actually delay to marry. And one wonders why? Look at me. I am also a journalist by profession (with a bachelors degree {Hons} in Mass Com from Makerere University). At 32, I haven’t even commenced ‘searching’ for a life-partner! What is happening?

This surprise reminds me of what The New Vision’s training editor, Ben Bella Illakut once told us (journalists) in a seminar at Pelikan Hotel in Mbarara town. He advised us to suspend marriage until the age of 50! Won’t one already be in “menopause” at 50?

Should I conclude that journalists (but me I didn’t) took Illakut’s advice seriously? If not, why are the journalists shunning marriage? Of course you can’t tell me that journalists delay to marry because they are poor. Definitely I would not concur with you because Mwenda, for example, is not poor. Neither am I too poor to marry.

On contrary, Gerald Tenywa, a senior bachelor and The New Vision’s prominent environment reporter, believes that journalists delay to marry because of the nature of pay, among other crosscutting reasons.

“The nature of pay is too little to sustain a family. By the time a journalist gets some sufficient money, he is in 30s. Besides, journalists are committed to their profession and they are always running after the events. It’s hard to serve two masters at ago. I mean, fulfilling the office duties and then maintain a stable family,” he explains.

As a challenge, the smiling Tenywa, 33, unfolds a secret: “I am quitting your club (of single life) next year,” meaning that he intends to marry. Nevertheless, Tenywa leaves me with a piece of advice: “Make sure you get someone (a spouse) who understands your pay, your duties and the one who trusts you.”

Grace Matsiko, 32, a senior reporter for the Daily Monitor newspaper, says that although he is still single, he doesn’t believe that journalists delay to marry because of the nature of their work.

“It’s not the nature of my work that has delayed me to marry. It is a personal decision. I will marry anytime. But I can’t go beyond 35,” he schemes. Asked whether he already has a fiancé, Matsiko admits that he has one but declined to disclose her name. “I can’t tell you her name. I wouldn’t want to publish all this,” he limits his privacy.

The 39-year-old correspondent for WBS TV based in Mbarara town, Deogratias A. Mbabazi, is still single. He says that the little pay that journalists get is no much an issue because the wheelbarrow pushers earn too little money but they are happily married!

“Journalists fear the family responsibility and criticisms against matrimonial blunders. They like good life, luxurious things and love themselves more than a wife. They see things like paying children’s school fees as a problem. They think that if they marry, their social class will decline,” Mbabazi, who has practiced journalism for over 10 years, says.

He realises that some journalists have failed to marry because of personal traits. “Some journalists look for an ideal situation in terms of values and virtues. Yet it is next to impossible to get a girl with 100% perfection. You can get a girl with 60% of the qualities you want, then ‘panel bit’ her to a class of your choice,” he advises.

Mbabazi has a feeling that girls from Makerere University are also difficult to handle because they normally prefer a high social-economic class. He disagrees with a belief that ‘men and women who are still single in their 40s and 50s are cursed.’ “Such bachelors and spinsters may have been disappointed by their x-lovers,” he believes.

Although journalists have enough money to support a family, Mbabazi says, the rich parents are fond of blocking them (journalists) from marrying their daughters by demanding expensive dowries. He says the bride price is more less of robbery because the 10 or so cows that are often demanded in an exchange for a girl, would be left to the new couple as a “Entandikwa” (start off income) in the couple’s new marriage life.

Aggrey Nshekanabo, 28, a sub-editor for Orumuri, a sister newspaper to The New Vision, comments: “Journalists are never serious. They have unstable behaviour and girls feel that journalists never have enough time for their spouses, yet wives need comfort most of the time.” Asked whether he has taken a step towards the marriage bond, Nshekanabo smiles and declines to reveal whether he is engaged to his girlfriend or not.

A fresh graduate of Mass Communication from Makerere University, Abraham Ahabwe, 23, claims that he hasn’t started thinking about marriage. He remarks that most journalists join the journalism field as freelancers (paid per story published) and their nature of job is not secure. No appointment letters. They work on ‘hit and run,’ he realises their stake.

“The employing companies are the ones that make money from journalism. The freelancers gain little. That’s why most journalists keep switching onto other media houses. It’s amazing that journalists are so devoted that they don’t have time to do other income-generating activities,” Ahabwe observes.

What do girls say about journalists’ delay to marry?

Before I expose the girl’s views on this issue of delayed marriage, allow me to inform you that girls never want to reveal their age. It shocks me that all the girls I interviewed, declined to disclose their ages – reasons being well known to them! Does age has anything to do with marriage? Anyway, let’s see what they are saying:

Loice Ampaire alias “Ivagine,” the Kampala-based correspondent for the Daily Monitor publications, thinks that the nature of the work (gathering news), which journalists do for a living – keeps them too busy like bees – to the extent of failing to settle down and take care of their families.

Ampaire who is single and probably still searching, says that, “Journalists travel a lot and save too little time for their families. Our minds are congested with issues and all the time we are thinking of what kind of stories we shall come up with the next day.”

The Mbale-based freelance reporter for The New Vision newspaper, Prossy Nandudu contributes that, “If I were married, my husband wouldn’t allow me to move out at night to cover the entertainment stories like Chameleons’ concert at Nile Gardens in Kampala. Yet Bukumunhe (Timothy, The New Vision’s society editor) would be expecting a story.”

The UBC Radio (Mega FM) correspondent based in Gulu town, Cathy Kats Okello alias ‘Nalongo,’ says, “Journalists love their job much more than any other thing on earth! How would one expect a journalist – whether male or female – to get back home at the same time when other professionals leave their places of work?”

Nalongo tells me that journalists are too busy. They want to get married after ‘retiring!’ A journalist wouldn’t want to torture someone’s daughter (his wife). “In summary, the journalist’s first wife is his “job,” she concludes.

What does the Bible say about marriage?

Saint Paul, in 1st Corinthians 7:8, says, “Now, to the married… I say that it would be better for you to continue to live alone as I do.” Then verse 32 to 34 (in the same chapter), Paul says, “…an unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord’s work because he is trying to please the Lord. But a married man concerns himself with the worldly matters, because he wants to please his wife; and so he is pulled in two directions.”

Is this Biblical advice prompting journalists to procrastinate marriage? Besides St. Paul’s Biblical advice, journalists claim that the inadequate pay for their job hinders them from marrying. However, the above analysis shows that most journalists love their profession at the expense of their matrimonial rights. One wonders if other professionals love their jobs this much. Don’t other married professionals love their jobs?

My school of thought therefore convinces me that if the ministry of gender, labour and social affairs could organise a workshop for these devoted journalists and sensitise journalists about loving marriage as well, may be they would appreciate the obligation of marriage.

Ends.

Word count: 1,405.